it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
