you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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