I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
