Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Do you still have your period?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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