i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
