just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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