...so i touched it.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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