Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
