If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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