Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
