ya dads aren't the best wingmen
wanna go halves on a baby?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
