You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
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Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
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There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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