There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
