walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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