i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
