Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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