whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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