If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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