Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
