k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize