They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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