Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize