What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
