How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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