just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
