Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
