There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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