When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
