Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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