went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
It's just like the Real World with babies
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
