i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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