I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
