You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize