I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
