This is not my ceiling
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
