FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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