Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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