I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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