Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
