you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
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seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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