the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid