you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
