i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
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I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
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He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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