I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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