i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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