I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
