so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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