your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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