She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
