Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
