Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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