THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
