how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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