I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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