Just took my morning after pill in the library
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
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I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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