You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
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he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
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Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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