I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
